post-note on Becoming a Man

A few hours ago, after I published this blog entry, a friend who I believe sometimes reads it sent these kind words over -

"I read your new instalment. From understanding your previous background, and reading your new thoughts, I do not think the problem is weight or winter, or infact a new style of fashion, and looking at you from a guys point of view, you dont look like a lesbian either, I also cut my hair because I know I'm going to like it, everyone has down days, I look at myself and think im disgusting, but there's some element of enjoyment I get from knowing I look good in skinny jeans
You're not fat
And try not to feel rubbish about being single either,
Be happy with yourself first
Boys smell
And most of them have one track minds"

It's incredibly sweet to know that people do read these, even the ones I know are rubbish pieces of writing.

However I'd just like to highlight something:
I do make jokes and self-digs about it, but I'm incredibly lucky to be single. Right now the whole scene isn't for me. The idea of referring to someone as my 'boyfriend' makes me feel a bit physically sick and I quite honestly feel sorry for most of my friends who are in relationships. Maybe that's just cynicism at a whole new level of bitterness.

What I do really need though is a food buddy. Like a fuck buddy, but with no fucking, ever. Only food - because the other day I realized it's impossible to buy food for only one person, and I need a platonic buddy to eat my leftovers, maybe afterwards we could cuddle and watch Mock The Week, but saying that, I'd rather be by myself or not at home at all...

So that's that. I put some lipstick on and decided I'd get a new 'weave'. I've cheered up a considerable bit and I'm going to watch something funny until I fall asleep.
The world is back as it should be.


In true self-redemption style, I feel the need to list 5 good things about the past week:
1 - Outstandingly awesome assessment of the 6-week art project I'd just completed
2 - Managing to get home alive on Thursday night
3 - My hilarious co-workers
4 - Those little girls at dinner, because actually, sometimes being mistaken for a lesbian is pretty amusing
5 - Amazing Thai food with my mother and the realization that mixed seafood is a terrible idea (life lesson, check!)