Becoming a Man

Maybe it's time to reassess some aspects of your life when you are sat in a restaurant with a female friend and hear two young girls say: "Mummy, when I'm older I'm going to marry a woman, like those two."

Perhaps the worst part is that it's not the first time this week something like this has happened to me. I dyed my hair brown and stupidly cut it myself earlier this week, and one of the first responses was "Do you look like a boy now?"
A few nights later another friend remarked, to myself and a different female friend, "I can see you two being in a relationship. But you [Kat] would definitely be the butch."

I have got to admit, this has been a long time coming. Since the summer I've been single, which means I've had no male set of 'ideals' to live to; so I've been drinking cider and eating chips like there's no tomorrow. (Not that I've ever liked those ideals anyway, so I'm bloody thankful for that.) I have also taken to wearing elbow patches and shapeless clothing, although I think winter is partly to blame for that one. In short, I look like shite, and apparently, a lesbian. Not that I have anything whatsoever against lesbians, but since I'm straight it's not something I like to give off.

The end of a year is always a time when we plan to make changes about who we would like to be in the new year, but I think a few of my changes need to be enforced sooner.
I need to lose some weight. In the past I've been an absolute waif, or I've been how I am now. I've never managed to maintain an in-between stage but I can imagine it would look more feminine, despite my biological lack of boobs.
I need to stop cutting my own hair. That's always a bloody stupid idea.
I need to dress like a woman, rather than keeping up my new careless and androgynous approach to clothing.


Writing this is getting even more depressing now, so I'm going to stop.

There's little to nothing I can think of to save this blog from the self-pitying whiny writings I have complained about in the past.
But if anyone knows a personal trainer or dietician or stylist they could send my way, I'd appreciate it.

More positive writings soon, I hope.