The S-Word

What with the three-in-a-row blog posts of the new year I really thought I was on to something, but I'm sorry to have deprived you all of an entry for the last 8 days.
I'm back, I have a bee in my bonnet... and you might not like it.

I'd like to have a bit of a rant about the double standards of sex. What I mean is, what men can do, and women still cannot get away with. But having not written anything for a while, it's going to be a bit bitty. It's unplanned and it's unclear. Bear with me, if you like.

So a few days ago I read an online article by Tanya Gold, published by the Guardian entitled 'Why women have sex'. (You can read the article here http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/sep/28/sex-women-relationships-tanya-gold)
The writer discusses a book of the same title, written by Cindy Meston, who argues that women have 237 reasons for having sex, and few of them are connected to love.
First off: well done Cindy Meston. In books, TV shows and film women are portrayed as sweet, easily attached fools, and the men are 'bros' who can have as many sexual partners as they would like. Not the women, though. The women might have casual sex and feel really bad about themselves, or fall in love with a douchebag and cry over a tub of Haagen Daazs. Several 'filler' episodes would be dedicated to the woman finally being happy enough to drunkenly slur about how "she deserves better." How empowering.
But the thing is - I don't know these women. I know women who happily talk about sex with the same low degree of respect that men do. And I am so grateful for it.

A film about sex addiction called 'Shame' is being released into cinemas this month. I'm yet to watch it, but it seems to follow the 'struggle' of a male sex addict. Another film was released this month, an English remake of 'Girl With The Dragon Tattoo'. The Swedish title of the original book was translated 'Men Who Hate Women'. It follows stories of women who have been raped and abused, in quite a gruesome way.

And this is when I have to step back and go - what the fuck?
Where are the films about female sex addicts and men who deal with the aftermath of abuse? Are we still this narrow-minded, or is that just not entertaining?

What I'm trying to say isn't new, but that doesn't mean I'm any less pissed off about it.
I know everyone hates the media for various reasons. I know women hate being called sluts. I know men love not being called sluts.

What I don't think men get yet, though, is that soon enough sex is going to mean as little to women as it can to them. I don't mean women who can have casual sex, I mean women who just do not care. Maybe it's happened already. And as much as they've whined about clinginess, and emotional attachment, I don't think they're going to be happy about it at all. Because at the end of the day, it's nice to feel wanted, and if you're only going to be wanted for about an hour, that's 23 really boring ones. (I'd know. I'm a woman.)

Not that I want it to change, though. I'm excited to watch Haagen Daazs go out of business.