Here are some of the lessons I learned the painful way.
Tattoo number 1, August 2009
My first tattoo was done in a little studio in Dublin, using somebody else’s ID. I had flown out to visit a childhood friend from back when I lived there and I had wanted a crown tattooed to the back of my ankle for a few months. One morning we googled the ‘Scottish crown’ (is there even a special crown allocated to Scotland? In retrospect, I think not) and my friend traced a photograph for me. Only the size of a 10p piece, the tattoo cost me 80 euros and took 20 minutes.
Lesson 1: Tricking someone into giving you a tattoo is really dodgy – they could go to prison, and to be honest, at 16 you barely know how to dress let alone what to stamp on your body for life.
Lesson 2: If you are going to be a stupid illegal fucker, then get it small. Seriously. I’m lucky I don’t hate this one.
Lesson 3: 80 euros is a lot of underage drinking money, and tattoos are expensive. Don’t go crying about how poor you are afterwards.
Tattoo number 2, December 2009
The most regrettable tattoo of all: the pocket-watch, thanks to a raging obsession with Alice in Wonderland. It was New Years Eve, I felt impulsive, and I wanted an Alice related tattoo. Even on the bus into the city I hadn’t really decided what I was after. My boyfriend at the time knew a guy… so
Lesson 4: Just because somebody owns a tattoo machine and knows how to use it, does not make them a tattoo artist.
Lesson 5: Get an idea, and think about it for at least a night. Who am I to encourage methodical planning beyond one night?
Lesson 6: Never, ever, EVER and I repeat NEVER let somebody tattoo you in a grotty bedroom. It is unhygienic and if the artist is any good, they’ll have a studio representing them.
Lesson 7: The ‘artist’ traced this from a magazine for me. Don’t ever copy anyone else’s tattoo. Come up with your own ideas and if you have no ideas then go to an imaginative studio where somebody will help you design something awesome and unique.
Tattoo number 3, February 2011
The October previous to this tattoo I had become rather enamoured by literal translations of Japanese proverbs. You can check them out here, but my favourite was “kishi kaisei” and meant “to come out of a desperate situation and make a complete return in one sudden burst” – literally to “wake from death and return to life.” For personal reasons, this one stuck with me, and so during tattoo chat with friends I would tell them about this saying. After loving it for 5 months, one evening I asked my dad (who collects pens and is an avid writer) to write the saying down three times for me, to a certain scale. When he asked me why I told him it was for an art project. As he handed over the paper I gleefully told him “well that’s my next tattoo sorted,” and when I came home from Camden the next day there it was on my arm.
He would never tell you, because it’s a father’s job to hate tattoos, but secretly I think he feels quite flattered.
Lesson 8: It is a really nice gesture to have the handwriting of somebody you love.
Lesson 9: Inner arm tattoos can remain quite secret. Hardly anybody knows I’m a tattooed female, and I like it that way.
Lesson 10: Think hard before you have anything about death and life tattooed to you. A lot of people think that I am “fucking morbid” or have a fixation with zombies… not cool.
Tattoo number 4, June 2011
Finally, I decided to cover the awful pocket-watch, as I realized there is no saving a horrific perspective. Geekily researching birds I found I loved the Oriole blackbird with its yellow body, often nicknamed ‘jaundiced one’. In my mind I envisioned the bird in flight, holding in its feet an ornate empty birdcage, in a very illustrative style – like a nature drawing in a classical book. I booked in with an artist who would have done a really beautiful job, and when I turned up to the studio for my appointment, having travelled for about 2 hours, I was told that the artist was not actually there (great) “but this guy can do it for you.”
Lesson 11: Leave. Get out. I know it’s annoying that you’ve travelled so far but just contact the tattoo artist later as to why they weren’t there and can you get your deposit back on account of the studio being idiots and not letting you know sooner and can they book you in some other time.
Lesson 12: Always look at an artist’s portfolio before you let them touch you.
Lesson 13: It is one thing for an artist to say they know what sort of style you want and yes of course they can do it, and to actually understand. A good tattoo artist will put their hands up and tell you when it isn’t their usual sort of style and refer somebody who will do a cracking job at it. A complete dickhead will take a go at anything.
Lesson 14: By the time you’ve paid £260 for 3 hours work which is clearly taking too long and not going how you’d like, just don’t go back. Take a breather. Whilst an unfinished tattoo is annoying, a shitty tattoo is even worse.
Tattoo number 5, November 2011
After a few months tattoo free I was feeling the itch. My dad brought me up on a diet of Star Wars and Bob Dylan music, my favourite film is I’m Not There, and I firmly believe that Dylan is the greatest living poet. A friend at the time was dating a tattooist, and I discovered the incredible world of ‘mates rates’.
Lesson 15: Do your research. Fake signatures are everywhere online.
Lesson 16: Bob Dylan is awesome.
Lesson 17: Don’t pick the scab off your tattoo – duh. If this one wasn’t already pretty flowing what with being writing, I’d have turned it into a right mess and I would be to blame.
Tattoo number 6, December 2011
Following the Dylan tattoo, I thought about how I would like a tattoo to represent travel or free spiritedness. There is a Frank Turner song I Am Disappeared featuring the lyrics “I keep having dreams of pioneers and pirate ships and Bob Dylan” and “posters of Dylan and of Hemingway, an antique compass for a sailor’s escape.” (It is a wonderful song and Turner is perhaps one of the only singer songwriters I believe could even nearly hold a candle to Dylan.) A few days into these thoughts, Paul Tipping posted a photo of an anchor that he wanted to tattoo on somebody…
Lesson 18: Befriend good tattoo artists on Facebook or ‘like’ their page. They occasionally post photos of sketches they want to tattoo, which is sometimes a little cheaper. Either way, that many tattoo ideas and completions keep you up to date with what looks good and how artists work.
Lesson 19: If you like a tattoo artist, go back to them.
Tattoo number 7, July 2012
Having paid £260 for 3 hours with a studio which will remain nameless, I was fuming. For a year I had left the bird untouched, and I grew to resent it. Backless clothes became a nightmare. People will always come up and comment about any tattoo (because they are vultures) and the worst thing was hearing “Oooh I like your bird” and having to reply, “No you don’t, it’s shit, I hate it, it isn’t finished and I don’t know what to do.” I even started toying with the idea of laser removal, but really I was just upset because it wasn’t finished. My anchor tattoo had immediately become my favourite and receives so many compliments that I asked Mr Tipping if he’d mind finishing it off for me, and I am incredibly fortunate that he agreed.
Lesson 20: Good artists have a waiting list. Get yourself on it and wait the bloody wait. It is worth it.
Lesson 21: Forget all previous lessons and make your own mistakes. That way, you have all the best stories to tell.
And listen to this song, it is great.
This is such an interesting post! Which studio did the anchor and the bird coverup, they're so good :) I love your tattoos! xx
ReplyDeleteOne morning we googled the ‘Scottish crown’ (is there even a special crown allocated to Scotland? In retrospect, antique compass tattoo
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